I do not like work.

Tuesday, May 6, 2008

 

Note I did not say I do not like to work, I don’t mind working in general.

It the particular work I am currently doing.

There has been a steady decline in the overall job satisfaction here at Lone Butterfly’s cocoon.

(Cocoon Pie, Edelweiss, COCOON PIE!)

I truly thought that my new job responsibilities would mean I was doing something different.

I’m really still doing the exact same thing.

Filling out paperwork and sending emails, then sitting on my butt waiting for someone (ANYONE, please ANYONE) to get back to me.

It’s frustrating, because I don’t enjoy my church home (at all, anymore), so I don’t have that to look forward to on Wednesdays/Sundays.

And my little caterpillars like to talk about how they never get to see me. Ever. It’s a Greek Tragedy to CW when he gets started on how he just wants to be with me. This normally involves tears, and ends with me feeling like such a spectacular Mum.

Sometimes I feel like I’m going crazy, and the rest of the time I know I’m already there.

I want to teach Religion. It’s what I went to school for, and I have never found the right place to teach it. I would love to be able to do the small in-home classes, the ones many homeschooled students take.

I want to travel. I haven’t been to my grandfather’s house in over a year. I haven’t taken the boys anywhere in ages. I would love to pack them into the car and just drive. To Mississippi to see their great-grandfather. To Louisiana to show them my “home”. To Ohio to see their grandfather. To DC to see the capital.

I want to join the Women’s Club in our neighborhood. I want to host a Book Club and Women’s Bible Study.

I want to take my kids to the park and the pool.

Most of all, I want to have the time to write and speak. I have a degree and I never get to use it. My creative outlets have slowly been plugged up, leaving me in a pit of frustration and joylessness.

I know there is a time and a purpose for everything, and that God has His plans for me. I only wish I could figure out what that is.

~Lone Butterfly )i(

3 comments:

Keetha said...

I don't have any real good advice - - - but I do care!

BooSheep said...

Sorry you had a long day!! But I tagged you so you would have something else to do! Check out my blog for the details.

Anonymous said...

I totally understand on the work front! I'm feeling the same way more and more- frustrated, and bored, and ready to actually use my degree I worked so hard for. I thought I was moving in that direction, but like you, new "job duties" but same actual work. With the baby coming (Aug 5 is the new due date), and hubby and I figuring out day care v home care plans, if we can afford to have just one of us work, which one it will be, etc., I feel like I'm even more at a crossroads. I wish I had answers for both of us!! I miss you!! Email me whenever if you want to catch up. -Bethie