Sickly Little Caterpillar

B10 hasn't been feeling well since the camping trip.

Oh, he says he is fine - but then either runs a slight fever or vomits.

These are NOT things that indicate he is fine.

However, they don't seem to STOP him from spinning in circles, or generally being a boy.

I stayed home from work on Wednesday to be with him, but his fever left that night, and I have been at work since then. Cookie said she thinks he's just getting dehydrated to often (the Tutor that watches them on Tuesdays/Thursdays took them to the park, and he complained of being thirsty - then got sick again), and I tend to agree. I wish I could be at home to force fluids down his little gullet!

Oh well, I have to work today and tomorrow, then 1/2 a day Wednesday, then 14-15 hours on Thursday - THEN I'M DONE!

Whew!

I received my October paycheck today, and ran some more calculations based on the lower gas prices and the childcare for Baby Larva I had looked in to in my county. After taxes, childcare, and gas - if I continued to work - I would be making a whooping $2.25 per hour.

Seriously, that's just ridiculous. I'm worth so much more than that to my Caterpillars.

~Lone Butterfly )i(

Work - And It's Issues -

Due to the nature of the Internet, this is going to be a rather vague post.

Basically, last Tuesday, the CEO of the non-profit where I work made an announcement. She did this at 4 p.m. after 11 people were laid off (on Tuesday alone). So the rest of us sat in the auditorium and quietly freaked out about what she was going to say.

Everyone was being given a 10% pay cut, one unpaid day every two weeks, we took a cut in our retirement benefits (plus the new percentage was based on our "new" rate of pay), they are re-evaluating our health benefits (and we'll likely have to pay more), and all raises/promotions/cost of living increases have been suspended for (at the very least) one year.

Um, it was already eating up a chunk of my paycheck to pay for childcare, and putting Baby Larva in childcare would have effectively eaten up quite a bit more. Now - when combined with gas and work lunches - I would almost be PAYING to go to work, as the total deduction comes to almost 20%.

Needless to say, Hubby and I sat down and crunched numbers for a few hours on Tuesday evening and I turned in my two week notice on Wednesday. There are a lot of angry people at my work, and I have become an easy scapegoat - because I was the one lucky enough to get free. No one has spoken to me since Wednesday (and I took Friday/Saturday off). We ALL envy Edelweiss for getting out before the storm hit.

I have three more events before I'm done.



Here I am at my Wednesday night event - drinking my ginger ale and praying the night goes by quickly.

I can't say I'm overly upset about having to quit. It was the right financial move for my family. But, regardless of the people, I enjoyed my job very much and I'm sad that this wasn't as much my choice as a necessity for out budget.

At least I know the Caterpillars are going to be MUCH happier!

~Lone Butterfly )i(

Yes, Really, This is My Happy Face...

So I'm happy for her. Really happy for her.

And insanely jealous.

Which is why I'm going to spend the next 7 days making her fat. In fact, today we had Panera Bagels AND McDonald's for breakfast.

I know she's going to be very happy and that makes me very happy for her. She and BG (and LG in his own way) have worked really hard for this opportunity - and she deserves to enjoy it.

But I'm still jealous. Mostly because I'll miss having coffee with her four days a week.

So, gas needs to get VERY cheap, VERY quick.

Congrats, Edelweiss. Deep down, I really am more happy than anything else.

~Lone Butterfly )i(

All My Time Went Here

The past two weeks have been painful at work. Both Edelweiss and I have had the joy of repeatedly working late in preperation for the big black-tie gala.

I haven't felt caught up on email in forever, but at midnight last night - when I finally left the building - I did feel like I had accomplished something pretty huge.

Here are a few lovely photos from Saturday evening.

And on Sunday morning, after 7 hours of sleep, I woke up feeling like I hadn't seen the Caterpillars in forever, so we all rolled out of bed and had a delightful breakfast at IHOP.

It was a good morning, with a weight lifted off of my shoulders!

~Lone Butterfly )i(

Poopy Fun

I have had a rather poopy week and one of the (very few) darling people I work with took time out of her day to make me a card.

She's a rather nifty card maker, as she free-handed all this jazz. But the inside comment was hilarious and perfect for my poopy week.

"The Butterfly and flower are made of elephant poop - proving that even the crappiest situations - literally - have some potential for future use. Even if that future use is ammunition to get you through some pretty rough days, anger and frustration are certainly motivating forces."

Elephant poop. Elephant poop butterflies and flowers.

Tee hee hee - now that actually makes me laugh.

~Lone Butterfly (not made of elephant poop) )i(

Working is Hard...

One of our department is leaving us this week - and we've had a bit of fun on her last days here with us.

Sometimes (though it's very rare) I do enjoy what I do all day long...

~Lone Butterfly )i(

The Ramblings of an Un-Trained Mind...

I’ve spent more time than I would have liked to this week sitting in doctor’s offices. I’m not a big fan of Doctors, especially when they are running tests and give me vague references to my results, such as “this was really high”, rather than specific and concrete facts.

My workplace changed insurance companies in February of 2007, and since then I’ve only been in to see the Kaiser people twice. I’ve done the military-thing, so I’m quite accustomed to never seeing the same doctor twice, but this week has been ridiculous.

To top it off, I was told to make a follow-up appointment in 10 days, but I had to do that by phone (rather than at the desk while I was standing there). So I’ll be returning (again) on July 7th – and seeing yet another doctor! (What are the chances he’ll have my test results and be willing to actually tell me what they are in plain English? I’m not betting on it.)

I’m trying to motivate myself to show up for work tomorrow. I’m not feeling real well right now, but that could be the entire container of Greek Potatoes that I ate for snack, rather than an actual sickness. I have Friday off to finish packing and getting my car’s oil changed, before we leave on our Family Vacation to Ohio.

We’ll be visiting Granddaddy, Jr and Minnie Mouse for four days of fun and excitement. The Caterpillars are thrilled, because they heard there will likely be a water park trip. (And B10 is dying to go to their local Zoo.) Hubby was able to take off work, which is exciting – I wasn’t looking forward to the drive alone.

Wednesday, on the way home, we’ll stop in Kentucky and drop the Caterpillars off with their Daddy for two and a half weeks.

I will miss them terribly, but my Mum has graciously offered to help me get our Master Bathroom finished while they are gone, and possibly do a substantial amount of work in our Sunroom. (We have a hot tub out there that we haven’t used in the year and a half we’ve owned the house!)

If you’ve not already popped over to see the blogs of one of my dear bloggy-friends, her daughter (another bloggy-friend) just had a beautiful baby girl. Welcome Home, Piper!

I am now off to contemplate work again. After out big event, it’s been slower, however I found a couple of interesting Fundraising/Non-Profit books in an old co-worker’s office, so I think I’m going to peruse those.

Pictures WILL be uploaded to CW’s Baking Post, as soon as Blogger lets me…

~Lone Butterfly )i(

Losing My Oasis

The first of our two yearly major fundraisers took place this weekend. It was a good evening, we broke all sorts of records in income, and the event went very smoothly overall.

Edelweiss and I spent all day Saturday working - minus our lunch break (this was the comfortable portion of the day).

The decor was beautiful this year. We were worried about rain, but luck held out and the showers never fell, at least not after the Terrace was set up with the tables and bars.

Hubby, BooSheep, and Hubby Sheep all came to the work party. I enjoy when I can share parts of my work with my family. Plus, it makes the work event more fun!

Of course, by the end of the evening, Edelweiss and I were quickly ripping off our shoes and working barefoot! (Can you see her cute nail polish?)

Overall, I'm glad the event did well and I am GLAD it is OVER!

~Lone Butterfly )i(

(What about the Kiddos? Why, the Caterpillars and Little Sheep had their own party at Cookie's House!)

Just so You Don't Get the Wrong Idea -

I would hate to misrepresent my job. Sure, at first glance it seems fun and exciting. Donor events, cocktail parties, movie previews/premieres, lunches, breakfasts, Black-tie events.

Something tells me this wasn't what you were thinking when I said "Black-Tie Events"...

Because I am cautious about the information I put out on the internet, I'm not going to tell you where I work. If you can figure it out from the pictures, then you live in (or near) a certain city - because it's not the obvious answer.

Yes, I dressed up like a Penguin (with 10 co-workers) and paraded up and down the streets of my city for my job. I won't lie - it was hot, but I had a blast.

Here we are stopping at a local resturant for some lemonade to refresh ourselves.

It made for a nice break in the normal workweek, and was something different in what is one of our busiest months.

Ever been dressed silly for your job?

~Lone Butterfly )i(

I do not like work.

Note I did not say I do not like to work, I don’t mind working in general.

It the particular work I am currently doing.

There has been a steady decline in the overall job satisfaction here at Lone Butterfly’s cocoon.

(Cocoon Pie, Edelweiss, COCOON PIE!)

I truly thought that my new job responsibilities would mean I was doing something different.

I’m really still doing the exact same thing.

Filling out paperwork and sending emails, then sitting on my butt waiting for someone (ANYONE, please ANYONE) to get back to me.

It’s frustrating, because I don’t enjoy my church home (at all, anymore), so I don’t have that to look forward to on Wednesdays/Sundays.

And my little caterpillars like to talk about how they never get to see me. Ever. It’s a Greek Tragedy to CW when he gets started on how he just wants to be with me. This normally involves tears, and ends with me feeling like such a spectacular Mum.

Sometimes I feel like I’m going crazy, and the rest of the time I know I’m already there.

I want to teach Religion. It’s what I went to school for, and I have never found the right place to teach it. I would love to be able to do the small in-home classes, the ones many homeschooled students take.

I want to travel. I haven’t been to my grandfather’s house in over a year. I haven’t taken the boys anywhere in ages. I would love to pack them into the car and just drive. To Mississippi to see their great-grandfather. To Louisiana to show them my “home”. To Ohio to see their grandfather. To DC to see the capital.

I want to join the Women’s Club in our neighborhood. I want to host a Book Club and Women’s Bible Study.

I want to take my kids to the park and the pool.

Most of all, I want to have the time to write and speak. I have a degree and I never get to use it. My creative outlets have slowly been plugged up, leaving me in a pit of frustration and joylessness.

I know there is a time and a purpose for everything, and that God has His plans for me. I only wish I could figure out what that is.

~Lone Butterfly )i(

When at Work -

There are times when as a Christian I feel uncomfortable. At work, currently, I have had a situation arise that has put me in a position that, while not difficult, is a little complicated.

One of the women I work with found the website A Complaint Free World. The idea is that you wear a purple bracelet on your wrist and every time you complain you move it to the other wrist. It takes 21 days to form a new habit, and this is suppose to help you. She ordered enough for everyone and work and distributed them with a letter from the organization.

A quote from the letter given out with the bracelet is as follows:

“Our words are powerful indicators of our thoughts, and our thoughts create our lives. When we complain, we draw to us negative things because we put out negative energy.”

The thing is, it’s not a bad idea to try and think positively. To limit our complaints and the time I spend criticizing others.

However, this particular “ministry” was founded by Rev. Will Bowen of Christ Church Unity, in Kansas City. I confess to find it odd that they named themselves a “Christ Church” when their public declaration of beliefs is clearly written on their homepage:

We Believe...
1.There is only One Presence and One Power, God the Good, omnipotence
2. If God is everywhere, God is also within everyone

3. Our thoughts create our reality4. Pray affirmatively giving thanks for what you desire
5. Practice the four principles (above) to the best of your ability each and every day.
We honor all faiths.

This is not a Christian church. It’s not even a Protestant church. It’s a “all pathways lead to heaven” kind of church, and that goes against my beliefs.

So here is my quandary.

I was given a bracelet like everyone else, which I have not worn and will not wear. However, the woman who handed it out has been rather vocal about chastising people she sees not wearing the bracelet.

At first, in order to “get out of Dodge” quickly, I made a joke that I wasn’t going to wear something I knew I would fail at (ie: me actually quitting complaining). And while many will say that this is not religious, but social - I disagree. The bracelet has the website written on it, thus if I were to wear it I would be basically advertising for these people.

~

It is my hope that she (the lady at work) will drop the subject. But then that frustrates me, as I know I should be able to articulate my position on the matter and not be ashamed of being a Christian. It's a delicate situation, because I am still at work, and I must remain sensitive to others.

~

Is it complaining to wish she was a little less of a pushy person?

~

~Lone Butterfly )i(

Cutest Shoes EVAH -

- which sadly do not belong to me.

My mum (who wears the same size shoe as I do) went to visit HER mum in a far away state. While there, she found something at that Target that we do not sell here.

~

I know, because I've looked.

Do you see the adorableness of these shoes? The perfect little flowers? The tiny little red ladybugs? Now, imagine a perfect Banana Republic jean skirt, that flows just to my knees, a slightly off-white 3/4 quarter length sweater, and a bright red tank.

~

I was rockin today at work.

Here is another picture of the shoes, modeled by me.

I suggest you rush out to your nearest Target to find these. And if they have them there - I'm a size 7 and my birthday is in November. ;)

To recap - shoes are adorable. Especially on me. (See my "kickin it back" pose? It's all the shoes.)

~Lone Butterfly )i(

An Addendum to the Spring Fashion Fiesta

For those who asked about my black-tie fashion (yay Work!), here is a picture of me and one of my best friends, Edelweiss (who is also my boss - these are the reasons I can work and not go crazy).

I adore this outfit, because it's elegant enough for me to wear around tuxedos, but the pants make it great when I'm actually doing WORK (there's quite a bit of lifting and bending and carrying that goes on).

Don't we look happy?

It's White House/Black Market and the necklace came from the store at my work.

I've been searching for the photo I have somewhere when I was 8 months pregnant and went to a function - I had the prettiest green dress!

Edited to Add: I found the photo I was searching for!

Spring Fashion Fiesta!

First - to anyone who stumbled here through Mr. Linky - WELCOME! Grab a plate of binary nachos and a drink and check out my closet! I'll admit right now that I'm not into all the latest fashions, but I one of the awesome perks of my job is that I get to dress up for black-tie functions at least twice a year. That's when I get fancy, what you're going to see today is what I wear the other 363 days...

The first question asked of all Spring Fashion Fiesta was what do I wear on a daily basis - I'm going to begin with a photo of my closet. It's not huge, but suits my needs.




Now - imagine I have a pair of black pants (preferably from Banana Republic). If you're feeling daring - imagine grey pants. Or (gasp) a black skirt. There's the bottom half of my wardrobe. My favorite top is this lovely burnt orange piece from Target. (I love Target!) The sleeves are just a tad tight, but I can wear a nice shell from New York and Company underneath (in black, of course).





Next - I always carry a lunchbag to work, it was a gift from my sister, BooSheep on my 30th birthday. It's black and white (to match pretty much everything I wear) with my initials in hot pink. It's from Thirty-One, a Christian based company. It's insulated on the inside - without a doubt one of the best and most useful presents I've ever received.

Finally - the other perk of my job - occasionally there is really cool jewelry to purchase. Employees are always allowed to borrow jewelry to wear on our "black-tie" nights, but it's an exciting time when I can actually take a piece home with me. I have a pair of earrings that matches this necklace and makes me smile.

Please ignore the cat hair in the picture - scratch that - imagine the cat hair all over my black pants. And there you have it: Lone Butterfly's Daily Uniform!

BigMama's second question was what would we LIKE to have in our closet. I'm boring. I would prefer more black slacks (and skirts) from Banana Republic. Like these Martin Fit ones. Or for a bit of variety - this skirt has the word floral in the title. I'm also really loving this (in black).

Big thanks to BigMama for hosting such a great Fiesta! Thanks for visiting - hope to see ya'll back soon!

~Lone Butterfly )i(

Cleaning the Desk and my Head...

I have been cleaning out my desk and my work area, because FINALLY my office has been scheduled for a furniture upgrade.

My entire department is crammed inside three tiny rooms - and we sit at intern desks, while other departments have an entire office per person (or at the least a large three and a half walled cubicle). This is a VERY exciting time for me.

As I was cleaning/sorting/throwing away, I was struck by the clutter that I had gathered in the last two and a bit years and also what was truly important to me.

In my tiny space I have three pictures of B-10 and CW. One picture of my beloved demon cat, one pair of butterfly wings, six "Bad Cat Calendar" pages, eight jewel butterfly magnets, one hanging sloth (who holds my earbuds), a set of lamb ears (for the months of April and May), and a magnet that has one of my favorite literary quotes on it. It's one of those quotes I read over and over when I remind myself that I'm never going to be like everyone else, and that's okay!

"There is no use trying," said Alice; "one can't believe impossible things."

"I dare say you haven't had much practice," said the Queen. "When I was your age, I always did it for half an hour a day. Why, sometimes I've believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast."

~Lewis Carol (Alice in Wonderland and Through the Looking Glass)

Another of my favorite quotes:

“It is not the critic who counts. It’s not the man who points out where the grown man stumbles, or how the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who actually is in the arena, who strives violently, who errs and comes up short again and again, who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions, and spends himself in a worthy cause, who if he wins knows the triumph of high achievement; but who if he fails, fails while daring greatly, so his place will never be with those cold and timid souls who know

neither victory or defeat.”

~Teddy Roosevelt

~

I am not to be judged by those who refuse to take my path - Christ did not call me to sit out this life. He called me to live fully, to embrace the pain and the joy of the world. I will not cringe in the corner, afraid of maybes and possiblities - instead I will stand and risk all, for I am promised a prize greater than anything this world can give me.

~

I am at a crossroads, in turmoil as my wishes, desires, and responsibilities tumble together like clothes in a dryer. I pray that God is clear on where He wants me to be, so that I never look back and regret my choices. For He will equip me to my calling. None of us are sent alone.

~Lone Butterfly