With both boys gone to visit their Dad's for Spring Break, it's been rather lonely here. I have been able to spend the night once with BooSheep and Little Sheep, and we spent the past two Mondays together. Little Sheep loves his fire engine (just like his Daddy!)
I love this age in Little Sheep's life. He's finally beginning to remember me, and it's kind-of cool to see him point to B-10 and CW's pictures and ask where they are. I am glad I was able to spend time with him, especially since this time with the boys away has been particularly difficult.
In years past, I'll miss the boys, but I'll accomplish great tasks (such as completely redoing a room or writing 50 pages of a story). This time, I haven't really been able to accomplish anything of note. Their room is clean and organized, but that took very little time in the greater scheme of things, and it was Doc and Cookie who did most of the work one Friday/Saturday/Sunday in the evenings.
So in addition to missing them, I feel useless. Which leads me to feeling frustrated. Which leads to all sorts of mini-depression states. Unsatisfied, overall, with almost everything. It doesn't help that my recurring health issues reared their ugly head, either.
BooSheep and I had good discussion about my major stresses, though I still can't figure out how to make it better. I think, right now, the only thing that will help is having them back. Not that they make me happy, per say - I know that is impossible and not their job. I just want to not have them gone as a stress, one less thing to worry about and two more hugs every day.
~Lone Butterfly )i(