It's a Party! (And I'm a CopyCat)

Okay, maybe not a party - but an anniversary event, none-the-less.

Hubby and I discussed where to eat dinner tonight (the Caterpillars spent the night with Cookie) and we were going to go to our favorite Japanese Resturant, but then decided to try some place we'd never been together before.

It's a great Fondue place - and they were very sweet for our Anniversary. It was perfect, as they even let us substitute the cheese fondue that came with our meal package with the dessert chocolate fondue.


I really want to bring B-10 back - there were kids younger than CW, but I wouldn't want to try that with the hot food so early. It would be more work than being a special occasion, I think, until they are 8 or 9 years old.

Then we drove to our local Target and took Edelweiss and BG's lead on Anniversary Gifts:

Delightful!

Well, it was delightful, until Hubby took the WiiFit test, which didn't give him exactly the results he was hoping for. That may have put a bit of a damper on the evening, but he's set his goal and has 3 months to work towards it. I think CW will help be a great motivator - as soon as he sees there is another fitness game for the Wii (he loves the stuff that came with the Wii).

I'll have to wait a bit to use WiiFit, since there's isn't a "pregnancy" option that we could find!

We also purchased a gift for the entire family, since this is the day we became an "official family". We are waiting until Thursday when we are all together to share it with the Caterpillars, but I have been wanting this since I discovered it was coming out:

WHOO HOO! Legos are awesome, Indian Jones is awesome, what more can I say?

~Lone Butterfly )i(

One Year

Today is our One Year Anniversary -




We've:


1) Moved into a house.

2) Worked on renovating said house.


3) Had four birthdays.


4) Begun looking for a new church home.


5) Seen two boy Caterpillars mature and grow.


6) Seen our Baby Girl Larva grow through ultrasounds.


7) Passed 3 CPA exams.


8) Camped a total of 5 times.


9) Visited 6 states.


10) Argued, fought, and made up.


11) Watched the stars together.


12) Cut coupons and pinched pennies.


13) Bought a Wii - and played Lego Star Wars till we beat the game together.


14) Watched Eli win an MVP and a Super Bowl.


15) Argued over SEC football teams.


16) And fell in love more every day.


Happy Anniversary...our first of many...


~Lone Butterfly )i(

What You Got?

Yeah, Yeah.

~

What you got if you ain't got love?

The kind that you just want to give away.

It's ok to open up.

Go ahead and let the light shine through.

I know it's hard on a rainy day.

You wanna shut the world out and just be left alone.

But don't run out on your faith.

~

Cause sometimes that mountain you've been climbing,

is just a grain of sand.

And what you've been out there searching for forever,

is in your hands.

And when you figure out love is all that matters after all...

It sure makes everything else seem

so small.

~

It's so easy to get lost inside

a problem that seems so big at the time.

It's like a river that's so wide it swallows you whole,

while you're sitting around thinking about what you can't change.

And worrying about all the wrong things,

time's flying by, moving so fast.

You better make it count cause you can't get it back.

~

Sometimes that mountain you've been climbing

is just a grain of sand.

And what you've been out there searching for forever

is in your hands.

Oh, and when you figure out love is all that matters after all,

it sure makes everything else seem

so small.

~

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

~

Sometimes that mountain you've been climbing,

is just a grain of sand.

And what you've out there searching for forever

is in your hands.

And then you figure out love is all that matters after all,

it sure makes everything else,

oh, it sure makes everything else seem

so small.

For mine and Husband's wedding, my sister, Boo, surprised us by playing Carrie Underwood's new single, So Small, for us to dance to. I cannot thank her enough for giving us that moment.

Because if you ain't got love - you have nothing, but if you have love - you have everything.

~Lone Butterfly )i(

My New Suit...

Fiancé and I need to go this weekend and purchase his tuxedo for the wedding and for our black-tie event that will be on October 6th. The whole "new suit" business reminded me of a story I had heard about 3 years ago. After searching for the story, I reread it and decided to share it here. I hope you are as blessed as I was.

Billy Graham is now 86 years old with Parkinson's disease.

In January 2000, leaders in Charlotte, North Carolina, invited their favorite son, Billy Graham, to a luncheon in his honor. Billy initially hesitated to accept the invitation because he struggles with Parkinson's disease. But the Charlotte leaders said, "We don't expect a major address. Just come and let us honor you." And so he agreed.

After wonderful things were said about him, Dr. Graham stepped to the rostrum, looked at the crowd, and said, "I'm reminded today of Albert Einstein, the great physicist who this month has been honored by Time magazine as the Man of the Century. Einstein was once traveling from Princeton on a train when the conductor came down the aisle, punching the tickets of every passenger.

When he came to Einstein, Einstein reached in his vest pocket. He couldn't find his ticket, so he reached in his trouser pockets. It wasn't there, so he looked in his briefcase but couldn't find it. Then he looked in the seat beside him. He still couldn't find it. The conductor said, "Dr. Einstein, I know who you are. We all know who you are. I'm sure you bought a ticket. Don't worry about it."

Einstein nodded appreciatively. The conductor continued down the aisle punching tickets. As he was ready to move to the next car, he turned around and saw the great physicist down on his hands and knees looking under his seat for his ticket.

The conductor rushed back and said, "Dr. Einstein, Dr. Einstein, don't worry, I know who you are. No problem. You don't need a ticket. I'm sure you bought one."

Einstein looked at him and said, "Young man, I too, know who I am. What I don't know is where I'm going."

Having said that Billy Graham continued, "See the suit I'm wearing? It's a brand new suit. My wife, my children, and my grandchildren are telling me I've gotten a little slovenly in my old age. I used to be a bit more fastidious. So I went out and bought a new suit for this luncheon and one more occasion. You know what that occasion is? This is the suit in which I'll be buried. But when you hear I'm dead, I don't want you to immediately remember the suit I'm wearing. I want you to remember this: I not only know who I am .. I also know where I'm going."

How secure I am to know where I am going, even if I haven't the clothes to get there yet!

~Lone Butterfly )i(

I'm the Luckiest Woman in the World!

If you live your life in prayer and seeking God's will - you will truly find happiness.

I gave my pain to the Lord and asked Him to be my strength, I prayed constantly for His will to be done, and my family and friends surrounded me in prayer for the same.

It was only after truly being able to let go and realize that even if I was going to be alone forever - that God would shelter me and comfort me - that I was able to receive the glorious gift of a man who wants to rebuild our relationship based on trust and communication.

Instead of canceling our premarital appointment for Monday - I had called our counselor and asked if he would meet with me alone, and help me work through the incident. Monday morning I received a phone call - ex-Fiance wanted to talk. Ex-Fiance ended up calling the counselor himself and making a 2 hour appointment (rather than our normal 1 hour) and drove 20 miles to come out and talk with me and the counselor.

It was amazing. It was as if fog had been lifted from our relationship and we were able to clearly see where both of us had erred in the past. He was an amazing man, claiming responsibity for his actions and truly stepping up to the commitment.

We won't be getting married in August, but the wedding will happen someday. Right now we are back to focusing on how we talk to one another and being able to express our feelings. It is a long and very slow process, but my heart will heal because I have given it to God.

We are not called to trust our fellow man, but Christ in His faithfulness. And that is where I am, daily trusting Fiance in the little things, but trusting Christ in all. What an amazing journey we will have together with Christ as the center of our lives and relationship.

~Lone Butterfly )i(

"Jesus is the rock between you and the hard place."

This has been 48 hours of hell, easy.

I'm not even sure if I'm over the shock yet.

Thursday evening, on the way to pick out the tuxedos for the wedding, Fiance dumps me.

I would like to phrase it differently, but this was not a mutual understanding, this was someone who I love and trust basically ripping my heart out.

In two hours I went from planning a wedding (the invitations arrived Thursday in the mail) to handing him my engagement ring (so he could return it and keep the cash).

Now what? I'm still in shock, I think. The loss hasn't totally hit me. There are five beautiful little girls that I love and can never speak to again, not to mention my sister-in-laws to be who are incredible women that I was looking forward to being with.

And then the fact that I have two little caterpillars that can't wait to move into their new house; with their new dog, their new bedroom, and their new stepdad - what do I say to them? How do I tell them that seven weeks before the wedding he's backed out - because their mum wasn't enough?

Logically, people keep saying that it's better it happened now, rather than later. And I understand that, but it doesn't make the hurt go away. My feelings don't change overnight. I'm angry at him, but I love him with all my heart, and that will take time to go away.

Some people hurt you with slashing wounds; leaving gaping, bleeding slices in your heart. You clean them out, thoroughly, even if it hurts. You stitch it up nice and pretty, and let it mend. Put a bandage on it, maybe a little antibacterial cream – anything to help make it better.

Other people strike you hard - a solid hit - with a blunt object. Your heart bruises, but there’s nothing visible to the naked eye. You’ve got a black and green heart, instead of a healthy red one.

You can’t make bruises better, you have to ride them out. Leave them alone to heal.
And when people come along after all it takes is the lightest tap to send waves of pain through me.

They don’t know they are doing anything wrong. To a healthy heart a light tap, or even a solid whack, would only leave a bit of a niggling sense of pain.

Certainly not the waves of nausea that flood through me when my heart gets a rough thump. So I force myself to laugh.

As if humor can prevent me from vomiting on their pretty little shoes.

Two Different Adjectives

I can’t decide if today was a success or a frustration.

Our honeymoon is booked (YAH!) for four days and four nights in Asheville, North Carolina (home of the Biltmore Estate). We have decided to stay at a quaint little B&B close enough to downtown to be able to walk – and they offer WIFI and Starbucks Coffee.

Really, if God created a B&B just for me – this would be it. ;)

Fiancé even made sure to arrange dinner reservations for our wedding night and tickets to see the Biltmore, (he is incredible)! We are now discussing what other night we want dinner reservations for (there is a nice Italian restaurant I would like to try) and if we want to go horseback riding and to the spa. (Um, yes and yes?)

I also went to the Bridal Shop to buy my dress.

First – my shop was gone. Literally. Empty storefront. I had to call to figure out where they were located. After driving there, I found that the adults apparently had left the store to be run by the gaggle of high school girls that were currently “in charge”. I use that term very loosely.

Secondly – it took them 15 minutes to find my client card. Then another 10 to find my dress. After deciding that yes they COULD order my dress, the little girl proceeds to take my measurements. And she tells me I’m a size 6.

Now, dear readers, I am a skinny woman. I accept and embrace this fact. I’m built like a rail – flatter than a two by four. I am quite proud to be a size 0 in regular clothes. I eat food regularly and refuse to apologize for excellent genes. (If it makes you feel any better, I’m blinder than a bat.)

In short – I am not a size 6. Even in the crazy world of wedding dress sizes – I’m not a 6. Nor am I going to PAY for a size 6 dress and then PAY to have it altered. So, I ask politely to see the head seamstress.

The cute little girl tells me that she can read the chart and I’m a size 6.

I ask bluntly to see the head seamstress.

The cute little girl tells me I might gain weight before my wedding – since it’s such a stressful time and all, so I should go ahead and order the size 6.

I demand that she go get the head seamstress, because I have given birth three times – and these hips are the size they are going to be for the wedding.

She complies and I have a sweet little Mexican woman, who is the head seamstress of the store, explain to me in broken English that I need the smallest size dress they have (size 4) and even that will have to be taken in.

Even with no dress sale experience whatsoever – I could have told you that.

Thirdly, they also managed to lose all the bridesmaid dress numbers, so I had to search through rack after rack of stuff, before the cute little salesgirl remembered that they had a catalog I could look at.

Fourthly – and this is the best part – the cute little salesgirl? She told me very sweetly how sorry she was that I was having to buy my wedding dress alone. All by myself.

Seriously?

If I was not so in love with my dress (and the bridesmaid dresses) I would have walked out right then.

The honeymoon is planned – the dress is bought – but I was hurt today, by the casual remarks of some child who is still trying to graduate from High School. I spent much time in prayer on the way home, trying to calm down before encountering B10 and CW.

Maybe tomorrow I can look back on today as a success.

~Lone Butterfly